Before one falls in love with another individual. It is important to fall in love with yourself unconditionally first. No one thing or person can fill that void.
This is nothing new news. It is about staying in tune with that love that is important. Because If we do. There is no reason anyone could disappoint us. Because Love does conquer all and especially negativity.
Time to look in the mirror and say…I love you!
I really enjoy designing jewelry. What I found as I started that I really enjoyed working with natural stones and shells. I loved the feel of them as I worked with each piece. They gave me joy.
As a Reiki Master, I knew that the stones each have healing power. But I always wondered how could you prove something like that scientifically. One day I was looking through my crystal books and I found that each stone has a chemical compound. Of course, They are from the earth.
That wasn’t enough for me. So I discovered. If you wear a shell necklace that has calcium in it. What happens is your body soaks in the calcium from the shell it needs for your bones.
So many places you see that that there are stones that are for each chakra. The chakras are part of your energy system, Each Chakra points to a specific area of your body. Rose Quartz is good for your heart. Because the Rose Quartz comes from the earth it is energy and holds a vibration. Good one to vibrate to on Valentine’s day
So many of us have made plans, goals, and by the next day. They are forgotten. Distractions are brutal. How many have set out to take a regimen of vitamins, or exercise or a life plan for eating? Might do it for a few days, then forget the next.
I decided I’m not going to be hard on myself. I am just going to keep picking myself up and doing what I have to do. I already have seen the results of forgetting about myself. I want to live and enjoy life.
I have started going back to my training in time management. Have beeping going off all times of the day to remind me to exercise, eat the right foods and take my vitamins. Do other work I am wanting to do. When you check things off for the day and complete things. It creates energy. When you don’t it depletes it. You can take the item you did not do, and post it the next day, then check it off for today for completion. It is important that we see a sense of accomplishment. I invite anyone to just join me and post any thoughts on how you stay determined.
I have been functioning pretty decent when it comes to grieving. I have put my effort into learning about blogging and thinking about interesting things.
The death certificate came in for my son and the reality again set in of the fact that he is no longer here physically. No more laughter, and teasing and funny faces. I know he is in spirit. I have been doing auto writing and have held conversations with both my sons. I know they are in good hands with spirit. However, the finality of it hit me.
Before I got myself into a spiral downward I came to the desktop and started to write. This is so healing for me and I hope it helps others who are grieving. Because you have someone significant in your life pass on, doesn’t mean you have to die too. They want us to live. I’m choosing to do this. As I write this sometimes, I’m working on convincing myself. So far it is working!
I wrote a whole nice blog for today. Then somehow, it got deleted. So I think it is wise that I take my hands off this computer. I almost deleted whole blog!
So many people doubted that I would ever have done half of what I have proven that I could do. When they got done with their judgment of me, I would continue on my own downward spiral of self-pity. Even though On the outside, I would be strong. Then I realized how many would still be in bed after the events that I have endured. There haven’t been too many types of trauma that have not found its way to challenge me. Always end up on my two feet.
The first day of the year I was faced with the news of my son’s passing. I made a decision at that moment that I was going to choose to live. I spent 6 years stuffing my grief and sorrows with food. I don’t drink or drug. I started taking care of myself but like so many other times I have put a roadblock up. Many times it is not me. It is people or circumstances.
Death of a child is not insignificant by any means. But the choice to self-sabotage is. All these issues become overwhelming and trying to be strong. I stuff my feelings. Every time, there is an excuse and I’m the one who pays dearly. Before my son got sick this year at end of November. I made a decision that I had to forgive myself for all that happened around my first son’s death. Somethings were just out of my control. His Angel date is on the 5th of December. I didn’t want to be sad anymore and wanted to celebrate his life. I wanted to enjoy the holidays this year.
No sooner did I make this statement when I heard my second son took ill. I forgot all the promises I made to myself and my sugar numbers went off the charts. My younger son did not want me to tell anyone about his illness. I felt I was all alone on this one. He didn’t answer phones. It wasn’t an easy time. It was stressful. This lasted a month of not taking care of me in spite of what was going on. I worked so hard on my food plan before this.
The day I had to fly up to see my son, I had plenty of time to talk to me. I decided that I was not going to spend a lot of years again grieving and sabotaging myself. I was going to live. When I got up to Connecticut, I walked more during that time and at the cemetery and walking up and down steps, it became the beginning of my exercise program. I actually felt better. I didn’t eat the hoards of food that was sent to the house.
This past month I had my moments that I was sad. I know that God/Spirit has my boys and they are in good hands, out of pain and full of love. They want me to be happy and healthy. They must have served their purpose. I was in my own way. I know I am not alone on this journey. This is why I’m writing this. I am living for me. When I have a difficult time doing it for me I will do it for the kids. Regardless, If I am going to heal it is up to me and nobody else.
I have actually felt a shift in how I feel and act. I am finding I am not as quick to go off my food plan. I’m exercising. Even if it is a little bit. My heart is light instead of heavy. I talk to the kids all the time. I know they are around and intuitively, I feel them around. I know it is my turn and I have a lot of work to do.
Besides all my books, I have 25 years of journals that I have written. I have started looking at all the messages that I have received when I have channeled. This is only the beginning for me. This is my first time having a blog. But this is helping me. I intend as time goes on I will be there for you too. Hugs from me!
After much study in different philosophies, I find the key to most things is finding your balance. I have recently got frustrated with much news because it is either black or white. No middle ground. Along with many other subjects. Teach yourself how to think critically, not to accept all that you hear.
Back in the 80’s, I was introduced to Macrobiotics. I learned the thought about finding balance with the foods. How you can balance your body following this process. I, unfortunately, never followed through on this. But always held onto the understanding of balance close to my heart.
I had a philosophy teacher that also told me that anything in fanaticism is brain dead. I found that to be true. Sometimes you have to be a little fanatic as you learn what you need. But then, it is important to pull back the reins and come to your center.
This mindset can help you throughout most of your life. Whether you are finding a friend or a guru. Someone starts telling you that you can’t see certain people, read things and promises you the world or a morsel of food…Run.
I found when I wake up in the morning. I start off my day with positive thoughts I can keep my attention focused. I have to keep busy. Timing now is essential, because If I allow myself to get caught up in grief. I get nothing done. It is ok to reflect. But I’m choosing to move forward. I’m a good one for a good pity party.
I am reflecting on a time when things worked well in my life. I was religious (only thing I’m religious about) is keeping a planner. Because when you write it down and you check it off you create energy. When you don’t check it off you deplete energy.
That can start off a whole new task for me though. Which size planner do I want? Will it fit in my pocketbook? Should I put it on my phone, or write it down. I decided to get a week at a time calendar with all the planets on it. Because I want to learn astrology this year. Then I keep a piece of paper in there with my to-do list. This works, no fuss!!
I look at it every day to see what I have planned. It is a great way to start my day. I keep it in front of me (fits in the pocketbook) and it keeps me focused, refocused, focused again! How do you keep the attention focused?
This is the year of the pig. Above is a birth year to see what you are. I am the year of the dragon. Have fun.
I have had come up with some great ideas today. Within minutes, I spiraled downwards into a sea of self-doubt. I found this photo and decided to turn my thoughts around and think positive. It is so easy to spiral downwards, however, I want to choose to believe in myself instead.
Lady Hy: WisdomKeeper 
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