My Journey for Living Blog

Posted in Grieving Naturally, Self Determination

“I didn’t get there by wishing for it or hoping for it, but by working for it.” – Estée Lauder

Posted on by Lady Hy: Wisdomkeeper

I really like this quote today. I needed the reminder today.  I worked my whole life and now in retirement. It is easy to slip into a comfortable mode. I really don’t want to totally be comfortable. There is always a need to strive for something wonderful.

What I’m striving for now is to help others who have just started their journey. I never claim to be an expert. However, I have been there and definitely bought the T-shirt.   As a single parent, I have mastered the art of networking. It was a survival technique to get one through the day. If one source didn’t work, on to the next with no regrets.  That is what made me tough and strong. I Mostly landing on my feet.  If there was a block, I worked a little more. I have many accomplishments. That is what I hold onto.  Because now with the loss of two children, I use that core of my accomplishments to hold me up daily.

I worked as a programmer in earlier years and then a contract executive assistant and technical writer.  Mostly in a men’s world.  Working the crazy hours, and still came home to be with the children to get them through their evening routine and to bed.  Many women are still married and they find they have to do it alone too! The responsibility is mostly on their shoulders.

I’ve experienced that time when I was afraid to leave a relationship, but it dawned on me, that I was doing it all anyway.  Many control freaks do a good job of trying to insist you are worthless.  But oh no, not this one. Bye Felicia!

NOOOooooo, I do not want those crazy hours anymore. But I will not lose that drive, the motivation, to keep on going in a forward motion.  I worked most of my life. You just don’t lose that identity. Your desire keeps your heart going and puts a nice smile on your face!

Posted in Insights, Self Determination

Each Day a New Beginning

Posted on by Lady Hy: Wisdomkeeper

I had a rough day today.  I had some good news and that is we paid off our house today. But then we had some bad news. Our car is messed up.  The dealership knows it is Corporate problem but won’t acknowledge it.  I looked it up on the car problems of the manufacture. I did what I could. But This overshadowed the happy news.

I noticed myself lashing out at my partner, I started going to take a nap and ended up with 3 phone calls. So that wasn’t going to happen. So I did what always makes me happy. WRITE!

I also did a few tutorials. It feels good to get myself out of the funk.  Paying off a home, is good news. I am going to celebrate.

 

Posted in Grieving Naturally, Insights, Self Determination

When In Doubt, Map It Out

Posted on by Lady Hy: Wisdomkeeper

Ive spent most of my career in the computer world. With over 40 years experience, I’ve learned that before you take on a project, you map out your plan.

Why not take this knowledge to everyday life. In our busy lives, we forge ahead to get through our daily tasks and then wonder why they don’t get done. I took a time management  course. I learned that completion creates energy, incompletion, deminishes it. So we have a choice which direction to take on this map.

Programming is a lot of yes, no, if, then, and  that thought process. You take situations of your life through this process. Write it down.

You get to see how much time you waste.  You also make time for more activities. Some steps are just not necessary, so why go there or do them?

You also get to see how silly you were, to be anxious over a task, how easy it was to complete.  Simply by eliminating unnecessary  tasks on your journey.

I invite you to start mapping your life tasks, so you can make room to be truly alive!

Love to hear from you!

Posted in Grieving Naturally, Self Determination

Here we go again!

Posted on by Lady Hy: Wisdomkeeper

The 5 phases of grief do not come to you in any specific order. Just because you went through the phase it doesn’t mean that you will not be hit with it again.  There is a different aspect of the anger that you haven’t addressed.

There are different types of losses.  You may be going through the loss of a special person,  but however, there are losses that occur that you don’t realize that require processing just as much a loss of a loved one.   There is a loss of a home, Job, finance, friend who moved away or a relationship that didn’t work. A  divorce.  The key does not disregard these losses as something you don’t have to process.  Loss is a loss.

Once you have acknowledged what it is that you are going through.  You can take a deep breath, don’t beat yourself up about it and carry on.

Posted in Grieving Naturally

Grieving to long?

Posted on by Lady Hy: Wisdomkeeper

You get to a point in you life when you can not escape the experiences of grief.   The experiences are different, pending on the relation to you.  Whether it is our parents, spouse, or children the pain of grief is immobolizing. I’ve experienced all three, even though the spouse was an ex.  Still felt bad, because he gave me two beautiful boys. So I can honestly say I can speak to this subject.

The biggest question is how long should you grieve? The answer is: It is my journey, and when it takes as long as it takes.   There are the 5 stages, by Kubler-Ross. I included them in a previous post.  You will move on and there are several ways to help you. That is what motivated me to create this blog.  You will heal. But there is, and always will be a hole in your heart where your relation(s) was.

Even if you expect a loss,  you never are ready for it.  The idea sends you into shell shock, your numb and you walk around like you are in a constant fog.  This doesn’t have to happen. But it does, more often than not.  As time goes by, the fog starts to lift.  This is the time you need to start taking your own initiative to do things. Be creative, write in journal,  read…so many options.

There will be moments when something sets you off, but You get back on track, but it is only 2 steps back not 10.  Acknowledge what you have done, be proud and know you will make it through.

This isn’t the easiest topic. But I feel that by helping you understand my journey, it might also help you understand you are not alone, not just you. Most important you will be ok.

Please comment or you are welcome to leave a message to contact you if you need someone to talk to.

 

 

Posted in Grieving Naturally, Self Determination

I must be strong, even on rainy days!

Posted on by Lady Hy: Wisdomkeeper

It has been a rainy day, and I found there was not much I felt like doing, so I reflected on my life and the challenges I had to face.  I look at my resume and see my accomplishments and was amazed at what I really did do. I look at pictures and think of the relationships. Saw how I grew as time passed. Saw how the kids grow and their amazing tributes they offered this planet. Proud Momma.

Take this time to reflect and write out your accomplishments.  Then on a rainy day. Take them out and read them.  Smile to yourself, and say. I’m Strong.  I can accomplish anything I want to do. Because look what I have already done! Be proud of you!  Even on rainy days!

 

Posted in Energy Healing, Self Determination

Break-through!

Posted on by Lady Hy: Wisdomkeeper

Fear can freeze you in place!   Today I drove my car for first time in 4 years.  I looked up at the book case this morning and saw the book pop out at me.  Feel the Fear, and Do It Anyway.  I didnt read book yet, but for today You don’t even need to read the book to figure out what one needs to do.

I chanted my little “Everything will be ok”,  and it was.  Everyone has their own fears, some many. I invite you to challenge yourself and share what you accomplished.