Tag: Grief

Posted in Grieving Naturally, Self Determination, The lady's Journey

Navigating Loneliness After Loss: A Compassionate Perspective

Posted on by Lady Hy: Wisdomkeeper

Losing a child is an indescribable pain, and the loneliness that follows can be equally profound. When a child passes away, the emptiness left behind is palpable—a void that no words or gestures can fill. Here are some insights on coping with this unique form of loneliness:

  1. Acknowledge the Depth of Your Love:
    • Loneliness after losing a child is a testament to the depth of your love. It’s okay to feel this ache—it doesn’t diminish your strength or resilience.
    • Avoid comparing your grief to others’. Each person’s journey is unique, and there’s no “right” way to grieve.
  2. Avoid Confusing Companionship with Completeness:
  3. Connect with Others Who Understand:
  4. Rediscover Rituals and Memories:
    • Create rituals to honor your child’s memory. Light a candle, write letters, or visit a special place.
    • Cherish the moments you shared—the laughter, the tears, and the love. These memories keep your child alive in your heart.
  5. Embrace Self-Compassion:
    • Be gentle with yourself. Guilt and self-blame often accompany grief. Understand that you did your best as a parent.
    • Seek professional support if needed. Therapists specializing in grief can guide you through this painful journey.

Remember, you’re not alone in this lonely path. Others have walked it before you, and their compassion and resilience can inspire your healing. Reach out, share your story, and allow yourself to grieve without judgment. Please feel free to send a message to Lady Hy on the Contact page if you feel a need to talk. 🌟

References:

  1. Grief In Common. (n.d.)Loneliness: 5 “Don’ts” If You’re Lonely After Loss. 1
  2. Medical News Today. (n.d.)Depression after a loved one’s death: Signs and more. 3
  3. GoodTherapy. (2016)Orphaned in Adulthood: Grieving the Loss of Your Parents. 4
  4. Roots of Loneliness. (n.d.)Grief Loneliness: What I’ve Learned From Withstanding Loss. 2
Posted in Grieving Naturally

Grief is sneaky

Posted on by Lady Hy: Wisdomkeeper

It’s commonly understood that individuals grieve in diverse ways. Some may suppress their grief to continue with daily life. However, this doesn’t imply the grieving process has stopped. Often, suppressed grief manifests physically, resulting in discomfort or illness. To outsiders, we may seem to be coping, but internally, our bodies suffer greatly from the stress of repressed emotions.

Our minds are powerful, capable of fostering our wellness or contributing to our illness. We face a choice: to persist in negative patterns or to seek healing. In the 90s, I experienced six losses. Seeking guidance, I consulted a counselor, who advised me to prioritize self-care, especially since most of those I lost were of advanced age.

When I realize that I’m feeling run down, I understand it’s grief making its way through. I question whether I’m taking care of myself. Often, the answer is a resounding no. That’s when I know it’s time to reboot. I begin by reviewing my calendar, creating a to-do list, and planning my meals. Despite being aware of these strategies, the ‘grief fog’ can make everything seem futile. Rebooting may sound simple, but it’s challenging amidst the weight of this fog.

Putting one foot in front of the other is how you start. Eventually, the fog will lift. You will be able to walk forward. There will always be a piece of your heart that belongs to your loved one. Acknowledge that it is grief you are going through. Put on a smile and have a good day.

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Posted in Grieving Naturally, Insights, The lady's Journey

Layers of Grief

Posted on by Lady Hy: Wisdomkeeper

This week I lost another good friend in the past week. It never gets easy. I find that since I lost my children. I walk another path. A path where my heart was ripped out. Each and every time another loss happens. It hurts a wee bit more.

Yes it hurts. Many people go into fight flight or frozen. Well freeze I do. I do apologize, for I don’t even attempt to sit at this computer until I heal my heart a bit. I have a point of reference, where that is now. My recovery time is so much sooner. This doesn’t mean that I loved less, cared less. it means…with each passing loving soul, I grew stronger. I take time to meditate more.

Take a breath…I take more deep breaths. When someone passes, it literally takes the wind out of your sails. it sets you back. But then the wind comes back and moves you onward. Then at that point you know that this beautiful energy that was your friend or your family member has translated into beautiful energy. Directed by Source towards a whole new purpose. Release with love, compassion, joy and grace…You will always be connected. Exhale.

Posted in Energy Healing, Grieving Naturally, Insights, Overcoming Emotions, The lady's Journey

To my Angels in Heaven

Posted on by Lady Hy: Wisdomkeeper

This month is especially difficult for me because both my boy’s Angel Dates are in this month. My Heart has a hole in it where they used to be. I know they transitioned and are around me all the time. I talk and sing to them. I Reminiscence with them! I even get angry with them. I know that we all loved each other. I let them know how much their existence made a difference in my life and still does. I’m a better person for it.

I know God had a higher purpose for the both of them, and the lessons they gave me have brought my own soul vibration up to higher levels. I don’t believe I would have known how beautiful a mother’s love is. They both grew into wonderful young men. Proud of each of them in their own way. A mother’s love is unselfish. I had to learn about myself. I had to learn that they come first. I was a single mom and working full time wasn’t a choice it was a necessity. Every chance I had I spent time with them.

I am walking this path now. A good path. Last December I started taking care of my health instead of buying into the fear of the media. I feel good. I have more to go for my goal. Much of this was because I knew they were the strength the forged me through some really tough times. More people brought on, the more I found my soul appeared lighter. I didn’t want to bog my children down. I wanted their souls to soar and learn and play.

This does not mean I don’t have some bad days. But they appear to be a lot less now. It is a knowing that they are here, all around me that gets me through the day. This understanding didn’t just drop in my lap. I worked for it. I have a sense of peace now. It’s about finding balance!

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Posted in The lady's Journey

Happy Birthday to me! (I gifted myself with good health!)

Posted on by Lady Hy: Wisdomkeeper

Hello my friends. It has been a long time since I have posted. I have been on my own little journey. Little did I know what 2020 was ringing in for all of us! Back in December I went to my doctor only to end up with the Flu. Turns out he had it. It lasted about 3 weeks. I lost a bit of weight and decided to take charge of my health at that time.

I used this time in hybernation to my best advantage. I first made a pact with myself not to fall into the fear. Shut off the news. I did a lot of reading, a lot of crafting and decided to do a low carb food plan and do intermittent fasting. During this time I started to see results. I brought my diabetic A1C from 7.1 (December results) to now as of this past Thursday to 5.9% I lost 40 lbs and 30 inches all around. I actually lost 67 lbs if I count my worst weight (my doctor mentioned to count that because our cell memory does!)

What I found was when you start losing weight you start to shed layers of protection that you were covering up over the years. I developed a team. I had my endrocronologist and my therapist. I worked on my inner self to shed the years of distructive patterns.

There is a sense of grief when you start to lose weight. One loses much baggage at this point, not just fat. I lost all those stories I decided to hold onto. You know the ones. The ones we created when we ate another morsel of food through emotion. How terrible this and that are or how this one did this and that too us. Not to leave out our family members.

What I have gained is a sense of clarity. I noticed my gifts have gotten stronger. My intuition did not feel cloudy anymore. My healing energy felt great! Started working with it more.

I came to this computer several times and wanted to type. But, no not yet. I am different. I have lost the motivation over the years. Much of it was due to the loss of my children. Junk food was my drug of choice when I couldn’t cope with the idea that I lost both my sons. I know they are on either side of me and ready to go to task with me in what ever it is I decide to do. They are my strength when I feel that I can not make it another day.

My spirituality was always strong. But when you lose your children. It does challenge you big time. I have been helping other parents. There is no right or wrong when it you are there for someone. Just being there, you become a gift to each other. Unfortunately there is always a parent that lost a child. It is hard to navigate oneself through the emotions during the intial time frame of loss.

My head is not in the sand. I know what is going on, however, I am not giving power to the dark side. I’m not taking political sides. We are grieving the way we use to live. What we used to say and how we said it. This is not easy. But be kind to yourself.

I’m on the Creator’s side! I am holding the light for many to see. I turned 68 on September 6. 68 = 14 = 1 + 4 = 5. The number 5 is about change. That is what I am about. We are human. But we can catch ourselves when we see our selves going in the wrong direction. We do have choices. Remember the universe always agrees with us! If we say that everything is going bad. You will be right. However, if you ssay everything will be ok. You will be right again. The outcome is your choice.

I made some good choices this past year and I’m going to continue to keep making my life better. It just feels great! Come join me. Hugs

Posted in Grieving Naturally, The lady's Journey

I miss you, Brett

Posted on by Lady Hy: Wisdomkeeper

December 17, 1986 to December 5, 2012

There have been 7 years since you have passed. Not a day goes by when I don’t think about you. I miss you so much. I know you are watching over us. You had a heart of gold. You were a great dad! Always a good kid and joking and very loving! You now have your brother in heaven to keep you company and causing mischief! You are gone but never forgotten my dear son.

Posted in Grieving Naturally, The lady's Journey

Grief: Is your time alone and it is ok!

Posted on by Lady Hy: Wisdomkeeper

Over the recent years, I have found that grief has many faces. People who lost a child is not the same as someone who lost a parent or spouse. Now, this does not mean that it is any less significant. It is different. I spent many hours reading and in groups, trying to make sense of it, if you can at all.

Then I realized that people who have lost children have different types of experiences as well. I have not lost a child at birth, through an accident, or very super young. My heart goes out to them. But when you have a child that is in his 20’s, 30’s or more. You got to know them. You raised them. You got to watch them grow, all their firsts, all the times you kissed their wounds, held them and comforted them, watch them in their accomplishments and made you proud. It is just different!

But understand when you tell me how all your children are around you. When you know your kids are going to be there at the holidays, the phone calls have stopped. All the commercials are on TV and you realize, oh yes I don’t have to get anything. You can’t be afraid to talk to someone, but be sensitive if they are having a hard day. Don’t take it personally. You find you are all alone a lot…no matter who is around you.

If that is not hard enough. Then you lose both your children. I don’t want you to understand. But sometimes I don’t want to suck it up either. Move on? Really? I hope you never get to know what it is like to lose lose a child or two. Grief is a process. it is not a mental illness. You have to walk through it. In your time not everyone elses. Not all days are bad. When you go with the flow and acknowelege that..the feelings are just part of loss. Allow yourself to be with your broken heart. You will always be ok! I promise you. As time moves on, I have more good days than not. There are only 24 hours in a day and tomorrow will be better!

Posted in Grieving Naturally, Insights, The lady's Journey

Automatic Writing

Posted on by Lady Hy: Wisdomkeeper

I found this article that I have cited to be a very useful how to bit of info. I have used the process of autowriting for several years. I have not been able to receive messages audibly from spirit. I found that putting a pen to paper seemed to connect regularly for me. The messages are clear. I always ask for the highest and best purpose.

In the beginning I could not read what I wrote. So I asked spirit for me to keep my eyes open so I can reread the messages later on. Well I started to question message. Didn’t seem real. Then I just put the pen down and i started to scribble. I realized it doesn’t matter whether or not i can read it later. I got the message when i did. I rewrite later. Everyone is different. When I first started this work, I thought I wasn’t reaching spirit correctly. I wasn’t doing it psychically. But I was getting messages. Very important messages. This has helped me even more since my boys have past. I have been able to communicate with them.

This is very healing for me. It goes along with a lot of my journaling. I’ve looked back at many of my messages and it has made me smile what I’ve accomplished since writing. Try it and have fun. It is important to connect with your inner self. Take time for you. We all have the power to speak with our loved ones. They are all around us and would love to communicate with us. I went to a few mediums and one simply said do autowriting he has something personal he wants to tell just you. I started to trust the process at that time, more than ever.

Levesque, Angela. “Your Guide to Automatic Writing.” OMTimes Magazine, 23 Mar. 2014, omtimes.com/2014/03/sacred-scribe-guide-automatic-writing/.

Posted in Grieving Naturally, Insights, motivation, Overcoming Emotions, The lady's Journey

What is impossible?

Posted on by Lady Hy: Wisdomkeeper

To me this saying is to get past the fear, is put one step in front of the other. That sounds so simple. When you are in the middle of your deepest fear, depression or anxiety…you just want to smack someone when they say something so cliche!

When I read this quote. The first thing I thought of is to start with a cup of coffee!. That is necessary. It gets your mind thinking. I worked years amonst engineers and they always had a cup of coffee in their hand as they walked around with their minds in a creative place. I had many days that I looked at the white screen that needed words on it desparately. My mind was whirling and couldn’t figure what to write. I went to famous quotes, then images created my own meme in Microsoft Publisher. Wala, I have an image. No… it wasn’t my quote, No it wasn’t my image. It wasn’t even the original image the quote was on! But what it did is it made it possible for my mind to start writing and journaling.

The next step will be the impossible. That will be my own images that I create, and the quote maybe my own.

I see that this quote is a useful one especially when I don’t want to exercise. Just getting up is necessary. Walk a few steps, Then what I thought was impossible was walking down the street daily. Not quite there yet. When I go through difficult challenges, something so simple as starting with a cup of coffee or getting up off my butt…just might be the very thing that sparks the impossible! This could be used for organizing too. I have a few piles of stuff to be addressed! Looking at it this way. The Impossible is action. It becomes possible and then necessary! Try it!

Posted in Energy Healing, Grieving Naturally, Insights, Self Determination, The lady's Journey

It’s Time

Posted on by Lady Hy: Wisdomkeeper

I spent many years staying in the house. I did not exactly not have a good excuse and I used them all. Mainly no access to a vehicle, because of my partner’s work. I had a horrible accident back in 2011 with a 18 wheeler. It has left me with a challenge to walk. Something happened…maybe a divine intervention. I don’t know. But it wasn’t good on his part but definately for me. He landed in the hospital. He’s doing a little better. But he can’t work. So guess who has to drive.

It was easy to stay in the house and have a pity party. But I went online and found things to do that I like. I went to a meditation group and joined a book club. I love it. I’m not done yet! I’m going to be able to start doing Reiki in at the meditation group. I know my son wanted to me to get out more and be independent. I really started to do that after he passed in January. But then got quite comfortable sitting in my spot in front of the TV. I need to stick with this. My soul has been crying out to meet new like minded people. To come alive again. I loved getting out.

I’ve very glad that D (my partner) is doing well by the day. But he can’t really go out and work yet. When or if he does. I made an agreement to use the car in the day and he can work at night. He likes waking up late and I’m a mornings. It is amazing how you are thrown road blocks and then when you take a minute you get to see how they were not at all meant to block you but to free you!