Tag: Grief

Posted in healthy eating, Insights, motivation, Overcoming Emotions, The lady's Journey

Looking at the brighter side of something not so bright!

Posted on by Lady Hy: Wisdomkeeper

It has been a rough week. My life partner has been admitted with both some heart and kidney failure. It has been very trying for me. Dealing with hospitals alone can send you in a whirlwind. It has been less than a year since my son died so all this stuff is fresh in my brain. I will trust he will be fine.

Since all this has happened, I had to get up and move around more, walk more, do more. Break through fears. It was rough the first couple of days. But now that it has been a week, it felt good to walk, it feels good to get up and to do things. I’m choosing to eat healthier. Key is why do I need a horrible event to get me moving. I am not alone on this, that I know.

Sometimes when we are faced with something like this. We have to look in the mirror and say. Hey what is it about me that I don’t like with this situation. I am in no position to call the kettle black, I can be mad at him if I am not caring for myself. Wake up time!!!!!

Posted in Energy Healing, Grieving Naturally, Insights, Self Determination, The lady's Journey

Go For it!

Posted on by Lady Hy: Wisdomkeeper

I can’t begin to tell you how many times I have questioned myself. What is my calling?

I have been searching and researching since I was a little girl. There was something in me that felt that I did not fit into the box of the big 3 major religions. I am a rebel from right out of the gate. Being a rebel isn’t always a bad thing. Most of the trouble I’d get myself in, is with my mouth. Always inquisitive! Putting the pieces of the puzzle together and possibly take that path. I took risks and I got burned and more often I succeeded. I never gave up searching. The calling was always strong.

My research took me to the eastern philosophies. I learned about energy and became a Reiki Master\Teacher. I learned many other types of healing. I knew myself better, that i could not remember all those terms in main stream medicine. Nor Eastern for that fact! I felt that I was being called to heal. Researching western mysticism of Kabbalah led me to another path. There is a similarity between the healing that and the chakra system. The energy centers are just called something different. Both systems are complex as you get more advanced, yet fascinating!

When you start to compare various philosophies, you will find that there is a common thread and that is called Love. At this point no matter what direction that was chosen, I couldn’t go wrong as long as it came from a place of love. When I would meditate I would get some insightful messages. I’d get you are going to do this or that, but not how to do it. This left me frustrated and led me to the question…what next.

I’ve been journaling for several years and wrote these messages down. So I started a list of what I liked working on. I had 25 years of journals to choose from. Went to several seminars. Had such a zest to learn more. It was never enough to fill some void that I had to fulfill a calling. I never could quite put my finger on exactly.

Then in 2012 I lost my son older son to Brain Cancer. It left me numb for several years. Didn’t do any healing and especially not on myself. I ate through my grief. Just I felt I was coming out of the fog, My younger and only son was taken from me. I have nothing left to lose. My heart is broken. So I thought. I started doing what always made me feel good. I wrote. I joined groups of other parents who lost children. Having lost one son already and time has passed. I felt that I can be of service to others. I also wanted to help others with coping with grief with out the help of meds. Working with a do it yourself method when going through the worst moments. So combining the my energy healing background and my experience I took to writing this blog. Writing gives me a purpose and and reason to share and be of service to others.

The blog started this way but also has evolved to helping anyone who felt that wanted to heal look at healing themselves. Not just people grieving for children either. I’m not a doctor. I do have to say check with your doctor before trying any form of healing. But I think you don’t need permission to take deep breaths. I have tried several of the different methods that I have shared. Many times I haven’t.

Would love to hear from you on your experience. Many times when we go through difficult times. It appears we can not get out of our own way. Look through some old posts and try something different. One way doesn’t work for all. Sometimes I go back myself and look, because I need a reminder. I really appreciate all of you that have started following me and would love to hear from you! Do you know what your calling is?

Posted in Energy Healing, Grieving Naturally, Insights, motivation, Overcoming Emotions, The lady's Journey

This is your movie!

Posted on by Lady Hy: Wisdomkeeper

This life… is your movie, You have choices to make for you and for no one else. Like the above meme states we have to accept the consequences for every deed, word, and thought throughout our lifetime. Taking responsibility is not always easy. But it is very healing. Because you get to see how much power you really do have within yourself. You can choose to have a roll on how it plays out for you.

Someone I know, gave me some bad news that they thought could happen if things don’t change and I don’t take action. So my thinking started to go on a whirlwind downhill. I’ve been upset and miserable because of this for several days. Then I realized that is my story not anyone elses. I awakened with the feeling that I can change this. So I kept repeating my favorite saying. Everything will be ok. I kept doing this and realized that the energy shifted. I was not miserable. We were joking and things started to look uplifting around me. I felt good things are coming my way.

When we get flustered, we tend to seek outside of ourselves to see what someone else may have to offer on the topic. But ultimately it is up to us. We take what we need and leave the rest. Ultimately the choice is ours and how we react or act. Sometimes we are dealt some really rough issues. Sometimes too many at once. However, this is the time to take to go within and meditate. Take a deep breath, and see what advice spirit has in store for you. You might be surprised. If you are headed down a path that starts to appear just not right…turn around and run.

Years ago I was told by an elder that I was a very strong person. During these times when I feel like I’m drowning, I tend to reach up to a sinking ship, wondering why they can’t save me. In many instances, I’ve been the one pulling them up by the boot straps anyway! This is the time that I need to pull up my big girl pants and walk to shore. Because I am actually in shallow water all that time. I can count on me like I always have and get on with life.

Note: Rely on yourself and your own creator every time you are confronted with a path that was not meant for you.

Posted in Grieving Naturally, Overcoming Emotions

It’s MY TURN

Posted on by Lady Hy: Wisdomkeeper

Back on the 6th of September, I had celebrated my life on this earth for 67 years. I never hid the number from anyone. As time has passed, I learned many lessons. I noticed that some really are not repeating anymore. I celebrated those. I have hit the existing ones head on.

As I grow older I matured. my mind didn’t feel old, but my body reminded me. My body took the brunt end of my emotions through those lessons. The lesson that took the hardest hit at me was the loss of my two children. Wondering why I’m here and the two boys left at such an early age. My friend told me that my eyes looked vacant yestersday. This bothered me. Because I saw it in the photo myself.

Why me? That wasn’t the question. The creator doesn’t want a pity party! I took that lesson to task and asked the creator on the Harvest Moon. A time when the vail between the worlds is thin. I trust the creator, but doesn’t mean I have to like the answer. I try to understand it. The answer was that I fulfilled my purpose as a parent into ascending their spirtual growth to their perspective levels in the upper dimensions. They did their part in my lessons into ascending to my level of spirituality on earth. As I mature I may not have done so if they were not in my life to test me. This was an agreement on the other side between us. They were my teachers there and on earth.

Trying to understand this thought I remembered reading a meme a few months ago about how when you lose a child, that you are at a very high spiritual level at this point in time and closest to the creator. The grief is so gut wrenching that you have nothing left to lose. This also means that the greatest and strongest power is within us to create. To have endless flows of energy. But i couldn’t see it at the time. As the fog and shell shock of grief starts to wear off, you start to create , write, draw, design, stitch fheal and many other wonderful things. I’m finding a sense of peace that knowing my children are in good hands and they are serving their purpose. I know they are around me all the time.

Now it is my turn to pay attention to the path and the direction I am going. I am free to do this now. Just have to give myself the permission to do so. I saw after I got that message last night that I have some marching orders. I was set free, thekids are ok. Doesn’t mean I’ll ever not miss them, I certainly love them. It means that it is out of my hands. It is my turn to be healed and then to heal. To heal through my arts and through my gift of healing. My soul has been hungry for a long time. Grief has taken a good part of the past 7 years of my life between my two beautiful sons. Time to feed her and not my body.

Posted in Grieving Naturally, Self Determination

“I didn’t get there by wishing for it or hoping for it, but by working for it.” – Estée Lauder

Posted on by Lady Hy: Wisdomkeeper

I really like this quote today. I needed the reminder today.  I worked my whole life and now in retirement. It is easy to slip into a comfortable mode. I really don’t want to totally be comfortable. There is always a need to strive for something wonderful.

What I’m striving for now is to help others who have just started their journey. I never claim to be an expert. However, I have been there and definitely bought the T-shirt.   As a single parent, I have mastered the art of networking. It was a survival technique to get one through the day. If one source didn’t work, on to the next with no regrets.  That is what made me tough and strong. I Mostly landing on my feet.  If there was a block, I worked a little more. I have many accomplishments. That is what I hold onto.  Because now with the loss of two children, I use that core of my accomplishments to hold me up daily.

I worked as a programmer in earlier years and then a contract executive assistant and technical writer.  Mostly in a men’s world.  Working the crazy hours, and still came home to be with the children to get them through their evening routine and to bed.  Many women are still married and they find they have to do it alone too! The responsibility is mostly on their shoulders.

I’ve experienced that time when I was afraid to leave a relationship, but it dawned on me, that I was doing it all anyway.  Many control freaks do a good job of trying to insist you are worthless.  But oh no, not this one. Bye Felicia!

NOOOooooo, I do not want those crazy hours anymore. But I will not lose that drive, the motivation, to keep on going in a forward motion.  I worked most of my life. You just don’t lose that identity. Your desire keeps your heart going and puts a nice smile on your face!

Posted in Grieving Naturally, Self Determination

Here we go again!

Posted on by Lady Hy: Wisdomkeeper

The 5 phases of grief do not come to you in any specific order. Just because you went through the phase it doesn’t mean that you will not be hit with it again.  There is a different aspect of the anger that you haven’t addressed.

There are different types of losses.  You may be going through the loss of a special person,  but however, there are losses that occur that you don’t realize that require processing just as much a loss of a loved one.   There is a loss of a home, Job, finance, friend who moved away or a relationship that didn’t work. A  divorce.  The key does not disregard these losses as something you don’t have to process.  Loss is a loss.

Once you have acknowledged what it is that you are going through.  You can take a deep breath, don’t beat yourself up about it and carry on.

Posted in Grieving Naturally

Grieving to long?

Posted on by Lady Hy: Wisdomkeeper

You get to a point in you life when you can not escape the experiences of grief.   The experiences are different, pending on the relation to you.  Whether it is our parents, spouse, or children the pain of grief is immobolizing. I’ve experienced all three, even though the spouse was an ex.  Still felt bad, because he gave me two beautiful boys. So I can honestly say I can speak to this subject.

The biggest question is how long should you grieve? The answer is: It is my journey, and when it takes as long as it takes.   There are the 5 stages, by Kubler-Ross. I included them in a previous post.  You will move on and there are several ways to help you. That is what motivated me to create this blog.  You will heal. But there is, and always will be a hole in your heart where your relation(s) was.

Even if you expect a loss,  you never are ready for it.  The idea sends you into shell shock, your numb and you walk around like you are in a constant fog.  This doesn’t have to happen. But it does, more often than not.  As time goes by, the fog starts to lift.  This is the time you need to start taking your own initiative to do things. Be creative, write in journal,  read…so many options.

There will be moments when something sets you off, but You get back on track, but it is only 2 steps back not 10.  Acknowledge what you have done, be proud and know you will make it through.

This isn’t the easiest topic. But I feel that by helping you understand my journey, it might also help you understand you are not alone, not just you. Most important you will be ok.

Please comment or you are welcome to leave a message to contact you if you need someone to talk to.

 

 

Posted in Grieving Naturally, Self Determination

I must be strong, even on rainy days!

Posted on by Lady Hy: Wisdomkeeper

It has been a rainy day, and I found there was not much I felt like doing, so I reflected on my life and the challenges I had to face.  I look at my resume and see my accomplishments and was amazed at what I really did do. I look at pictures and think of the relationships. Saw how I grew as time passed. Saw how the kids grow and their amazing tributes they offered this planet. Proud Momma.

Take this time to reflect and write out your accomplishments.  Then on a rainy day. Take them out and read them.  Smile to yourself, and say. I’m Strong.  I can accomplish anything I want to do. Because look what I have already done! Be proud of you!  Even on rainy days!